My sister is a nurse. Many years ago, she was an oncology nurse. She used to say, in a sing-song happy voice, “Cancer is the answer!”. I remember thinking in my early 20s mind (as I said, many years ago) how can she make light of such a horrible, scary disease? How could cancer be a happy answer? What was the question she was answering!?!
I was diagnosed with colo-rectal cancer in April, 2015. I got the all clear in January, 2016. Dumb cancer is back and I’m starting a new chemo regimen today. Let me be clear, cancer sucks. Even though it sucks, it will not run or ruin my life. Yes, I know I’ll feel bad. Yes, I know cancer will probably shorten my life. But, I am so much more than somebody with cancer.
Friends and family have told me that they have cried about me. I think, please don’t cry! Cancer is dumb! I don’t have to work because of it! Cancer is the answer! Don’t think of me and be sad, you’re letting cancer win. I’m still me.
So, what is the question if cancer is the answer?
⇒ What disease do I spend more time laughing at than crying about?
⇒ What has brought more love into my life?
⇒ What has taught me how to better love and care for the people in my life?
During this chemo regimen, I’m sure there will be a day when I feel horrible. I will think of this post and know I must have been insane when I wrote it. But, it will also be a reminder for me that cancer can never invade my soul, and that’s what really matters.