A few weeks ago I was in the den learning how to build a blog. My husband walked in and he sadly dropped into a chair. This particular day was after I learned that I needed chemo again and a few days before my first treatment. He had been in a funk and I wasn’t sure what was causing his down mood. I asked him if it was the miserable Texas heat or did he feel sick or was it me getting chemo again? It was me getting chemo again.
I looked at him and knew he was sad, angry and worried. My response to him was, “I’ve never been happier.” Cancer is having a good go at my body and I’m not thrilled about chemo. I don’t like feeling physically tired and sick, but my soul and the heart of who I am are full of joy.
After many years of thinking I was forgotten and had no purpose, I am at peace. Instead of letting all the bad things in my life keep me locked down and stuck, I’ve let them go and set myself free. I have taken those bad things, turned them around and pushed them away from me. They are now stories of hope and how God can and will release anyone from any burden they carry. What had once caused pain now brings peace.
It took many years to get the courage to start this blog. In my mind, I kept the idea to share my story in a small box and stored it away as impossible. I slowly let the impossible become a dream come true. The day I published my first post, the second after I pushed enter, God whispered to me, “well done”. Since I was very young I’ve pursued approval, love, acceptance, purpose, happiness. And in that second, I had it all.
Today my body hurts. As I relive that moment after my first post, joy overtakes the hurt. Cancer can’t touch joy that comes heaven. Cancer doesn’t stand a chance.
Romans 15:13 – Now may God, the source of hope, fill you with all joy and peace as you believe, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Love you Julie. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights. Very moving. Thank God for HIS peace!
Isn’t it amazing how God can really heal the inside to the point that joy is possible despite circumstances? Prayers for your physical healing, Julie. Blessed peace to you!
Who can improve on God’s words?
Yes, truly ‘well done’ perfect one!
You continue to be such a heartfelt inspiration.
The way you write and the things you say are pretty amazing. I hate that you are going through this, but I love the joy you are experiencing. It’s very inspiring.
Thank you!
Remarkable.
Sending you love and absorbing the love you send out.
Thank you for sharing. Your blog continues to touched my heart.