The other day, I received a comment saying, “You are very strong to let yourself be so vulnerable.” It struck me as odd. Am I strong and vulnerable at the same time? It doesn’t seem possible to me. I looked up the definition of vulnerable: capable or susceptible to being wounded or hurt; open to moral attack, criticism, etc.
I thought about the definition and whether it applied to me. Am I capable or susceptible to being wounded or hurt? No way. I can’t imagine anything that could physically wound me from this blog. I’m accustomed to feeling pain. I like to stare down pain that comes from cancer, surgery or treatments. Really, cancer? Is that all you’ve got? I dare it to hurt me more. If it does and I can’t stare it down anymore, I have access to good drugs. It’s a win, win for me.
For a split second, I do feel susceptible to emotional pain. Wounds have healed, but sometimes they come close to the surface again and frighten me with their power. Emotional pain can threaten who I am and who I want to be. There are no drugs to get immediate relief. I’m afraid to stare emotional pain down. So, I release the fear and let my Father take care of it.
Am I open to moral attack or criticism? Yes, I am. Am I worried that someone may say something hurtful? No, I am not. I’ve spent too much time not knowing what I believe in and not believing in myself. I’ve come too far to back down now. God and I have talked about everything I write about. If He and I are good, nothing else matters.
I decided that yes, I am strong and I am vulnerable. Some people may not like what I write or disagree with me. When I speak from my heart and what I say is a testament of what God has done, He will use it for good. That is more important than any fear I have.
2 Corinthians 12: 9-10: But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Just look at this brave, gallant warrior who has come out of that dark grey background previously posted! Here you are in this battle. Remember always that we, who love you, have your back as you stare down the ugly cancer beast. Healing from depression and sharing with all of us has given you that mighty slingshot to defeat a so-called giant. Empowered by our God makes you undefeatable!