Today is mom’s birthday.
Every November 11th (Or closest weekend to it), I would do the same thing. I’d go to Corner Bakery and get two Chopped chicken salads. One with no tomato, and one with no onion. I’d make sure we both got pieces of bread, and would get a lemon pound cake for mom. Today was no different. Well, I guess it was a little different. There was a lot more tears, a lot more memories, a lot more thinking, a lot more hoping, a lot more wishing.
I drove up to the small town in Tennessee mom moved to, to be as close to her as I could for her birthday, but being a small town, there was no Corner Bakery to go to. Yet I still went to Corner Bakery with mom.
I actually had a dream last night. I was at lunch at Corner Bakery with mom. We both had our salads and were sitting across from each other. She looked so happy and so beautiful. She didn’t look like she did when she passed away, she looked like she did when she was in her early thirties. Smiling, long brown curly hair, wearing an outfit I would see her wear to work, all pretty with her jewelry, but there was a different kind of “brightness” about her, she seemed to just glow as she smiled at me. It was a long dream, but I only remember bits of it. I remember the beginning, she smiled and looked at me and said how happy she was to see me, and that she misses me. After that, I don’t remember much until the end, when I guess it was time to go and she smiled at me again and said that she loves me and that I shouldn’t be sad and she is always watching me.
I woke up after she said that, and after realizing it was a dream, I tried my hardest to fall back asleep to go back to her. I could not though, so I laid there, tears streaming down my face wishing I could go to lunch with her again. Wishing that she were here to go get a birthday sundae from Baskin Robbins.
It doesn’t make sense to me. A birthday is supposed to be a celebration of life. A time to remember the past, but look towards the future, look towards the next birthday. It’s hard to celebrate a birthday of a loved one without them.
It was as if God made sure for me to know that He, and heaven were celebrating her birthday. As we drove around today, it seemed everywhere I looked He was telling me that mom was being celebrated. I saw three or four happy birthday balloons scattered about, and saw at least 5 announcement boards (like on gas stations or at a McDonald’s) that read “Happy Birthday”. I’m sure she’s in heaven eating her weight in Cracker Barrel pancakes and lemon pound cake having the best birthday ever.
Mom would’ve been 50 years old today.
Happy birthday mom, I love you!!
Mark 9:36 – 37; Taking a child, He set him before them, and taking him in His arms, He said to them, “Whoever receives one child like this in My name receives Me; and whoever receives Me does not receive Me, but Him who sent Me.”
I am an old friend of your Mom’s from Flower Mound. It was with great sadness when I checked her blog today. She touched many and is missed many. My prayers to your family.
Happy 50th Birthday Julie! You get to miss all the great things of growing old here on earth like menopause, wrinkles, grey hair, cataracts, loss of hearing and loss of memory among many other things you lose… we just can’t recall. May our memories of times shared with you grow ever dearer as we grow closer to the day we are reunited. Love Dad and Alicia
Happy birthday in heaven.
Wonderfully written dear Alex. A beautiful tribute to a beautiful woman … she was and is just that … beautiful inside and out. I see her in the eyes of her Missy cat who always senses my need to receive comfort kitty loves. Thank you, Julie, and Happy Birthday with the angels.
You are a wonderful writer. This article was beautifully written and touched the depths of my heart and made me better appreciate the loved ones I still have with me. God bless and comfort you!
Beautiful sentiment Alex. Continue seeing her in everything around you. Most of us forget to look.